I’m struggling with croutons. 

I love croutons in my salad.  They provide a wonderful crunch and toasty flavor.  (I don’t need them to be seasoned - I like them just fine plain.  That’s not to say that I won’t eat them if they’re seasoned, I just don’t need it.)

The problem is in the actual consuming of the croutons.  How do you do it?

You can’t stab them with a fork because they turn into crouton dust and that just makes you choke.  If you try to scoop them up with your fork and miss, then you have dressing-covered croutons falling down your shirt.  Or onto the table.  Either way is bad.  Plus, if you do the scoopy thing?  You only get to have croutons, you don’t get any lettuce or carrots or olives or peppers, unless you’ve chopped your salad up into tiny pieces.

So what’s the solution?  Is it possible for me to have my croutons and eat them, too? 

See, now that question is phrased properly.  The whole “have your cake and eat it, too” is wrong, since the spirit of the question is the struggle to be able to eat your cake and still have it to eat later.  But I digress.

Is there an answer??  Or am I doomed to struggle with my crunchy little bread cubes for the rest of my life?

(P.S.  I have a fabulous recipe for homemade croutons.  If you’d like it, let me know!)

I hurt my knee this past weekend.  Other than to tell you that it’s a result of my normal “gracefulness”, I don’t need to go into details.  But it hurts.  And hurts worse every day.  So that’s fun.

But, I have had to use elevators at work for the last two days.  These are not high-speed elevators, no.  They are some of the slowest elevators ever built, I’m sure.  So, while I would usually rush around and use the stairs to get where I’m going, I’ve had to stop and wait for elevators for two days.  (No need to mention the shuffling hobbling that I’m passing off as walking.) It’s all s-l-o-w-e-d down quite a bit.

And you know what?  I’ve actually become a calmer person.  There’s nothing I can do to make the elevators (or my legs) go faster so I’ve been enjoying the moments of peace.

There’s a lesson here somewhere.  Simon & Garfunkel might have been trying to tell me something all those years ago.

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy

I think they got today’s Word of the Dayâ„¢ definition wrong.  To me, what we have here is the scene in RoboCop where RC just loses it and starts blowing everyone away. 

That, my friend, is a RoboRant!

roborant \ROB-uh-ruhnt\, adjective:

1. Strengthening; restoring vigor.
2. A strengthening medicine; a tonic; a restorative.

This here site is now under new management!  (And by that, I mean, it’s up on ExpressionEngine now instead of Movable Type.)

So, I’m going to look around and play with some new tools and features and you’ll probably see absolutely no difference at all.  But I will!

Um, let’s see.  What’s new? 

Oh - got a new “Grillmaster 8,000,000” (I don’t know what it’s really called - it’s here) and tried it out on some humble grilled cheese sandwiches today.  They were beautifully cooked, if slightly squished.  We’ll be making a stop at Panera Bread to find some outrageous breads to try. 

What else?  Oh - we went to the pet supply store and bought 12 cans of organic, natural cat food.  In light of the recent deaths and illnesses caused by tainted cat and dog food, we threw away the pouches that we had on hand, even though they weren’t officially part of the recall.  And, since it’s not a great idea to keep your cats on a dry-food-only diet, our options were to find something less suspect or start feeding them canned tuna or chicken that we cooked.  We’re trying the holistic, organic route for now.  I was really aiming to find some Newman’s Own Organic cat food, but I failed in my search.  So far.  I can always order it online, but I’m sure the shipping will be astronomical.

I hope that your pets are safe and sound.  I worry about the little critters so!

I guess that’s it for now.  *gratuitous smiley alert*

Since smileys come with EE, how can I resist? 

I don’t mean to toot my own horn but, man, the dinner we came up with tonight?  Spectacular!

It was just a simple stir-fry.  Or so we first imagined!

It ended up being a chicken and shrimp stir-fry with carrots, celery, onions, garlic, green and red bell peppers, and cremini mushrooms (basically, whatever we had in the fridge).  All cooked up with a lot of fresh ginger, soy sauce, dry sherry and some lusty sesame oil.  Served over rice.

Holy crap!  It was the best stir-fry I’ve ever done - bar none.

I want to do it all again very, VERY soon!

(Oh, and P.S. this is my first day without a headache all day in the last six days.  I had a small one after lunch today but it went away fairly quickly and I feel like a million bucks!)

I am remembering my lunch today.  It was a vegetarian meal.  I had pasta primavera with tofu.  It’s a NutriSystem dinner that I ate for lunch.  It’s very yummy!  Here’s the description from NutriSystem.com:

This hearty Italian-style entrée is absolutely delicious, with something to appeal to everyone! Your favorite shell noodles are combined with carrot strips, edame (soybeans), red peppers and celery in a rich, cheesy tomato sauce simmered with traditional Italian herbs and seasonings. Add tender tofu for extra protein, and you’ve got a fabulous entrée that will keep you satisfied for hours.

It is totally loaded with edamame!

Which I truly love!!  I know that I’m late jumping on this bandwagon but I don’t care.  I got there eventually, right?

Mmmm...edamame!!!

I’m on the fifth day of a headache.  When do you think I should start to get worried?

Well, here we are in the midst of the warmest winter on record.  I suppose it is because it is so warm that our ONLY WINTER STORMS this year were ice storms.

And we’re in the middle of yet another one. 

I hate this.  I’m at work but I don’t work far from home so it’s not that bad and, once we get home, we don’t have anywhere to go until Sunday night, which is good, but still.

I hate having to even deal with it a little.  How will we get the driveway and walk cleared if it’s all ice?  We don’t have any salt (our bad) so what are we going to do?

I guess we’ll wait until next weekend, when it’s supposed to be up in the 70s again!

P.S.  Several of our crocuses bloomed this past week.  Poor crocuses, all frozen now!

Well, it’s just after 10:00 PM here on the east coast.  I have to get up at 4:30 AM here on the east coast.

I am having trouble getting myself to bed.  Why?

I don’t.want.to.go.to.work.tomorrow.

Period.

I just don’t.want.to.go.

Work is beating the ever-loving shit out of me right now - seriously - and I don’t want to play!

But you know what?  I will get up tomorrow at 4:30 and get ready and go into work and face the crap-upon-crap that I have to face and do it readily and willingly.

Why?

‘Cause where I work?  I think it may be the best place ever.  Really.  I’ve had opportunity and cause to reflect on my workplace very recently (read: today).  On May 18th, I will have been there for 20 years.  Yep.  The best place ever.

If they’ll have me, I’ll work there until I can work no more. 

So, come on, tomorrow.  Do your darndest.  Kick whatever shit you think you can kick.  I’m up for it.  Just bring it on!

Oh how I wish I didn’t have to work on a Windows PC - ever! 

I mean, yes, there are things that I can’t do on my Mac - mostly work things - but, gah, the pain and frustration every time I have to do something!

For instance, this morning, I wanted to check on an intranet something-or-other at work but I can’t do it without IE.  You can no longer get IE for free for the Mac - and I REFUSE to pay for that piece of crap software - so I have to use my Parallels with Windows to use IE.  Already I’m getting snarly.

So I pop over to Windows and go to IE.  Then the site that I want to use needs a Flash player upgrade, so I go get that.  It won’t work until I shut down IE.  Then I have to turn off the pop-up blocker, but that won’t work until I shut down IE again.

I finally get through all of that and now the site has ground to a halt.

I know that some of this is not Windows’ fault (much of it is!) but I have to sit there and stare at Windows while all of this is not working.  And it makes me want to growl.

Grrrr.

See?

I read somewhere a long time ago that the average woman uses 16 products to get herself ready in the morning.  I like to pride myself on not being the average woman (in fact, I eschew being lumped in with any group), so I will check once in a while how many products I use in the morning, just to make sure I haven’t succumbed to being “average”. 

It’s astounding!  I don’t feel like I use a lot of products and yet, my number approaches 13 or 14 on some days.  Here’s a list (in order of appearance):

1.  Toothpaste
2.  Mouthwash
3.  Shampoo
4.  Conditioner
5.  Soap
6.  Deodorant
* You can sometimes throw in moisturizer here, depending on how dry my skin is - you can also sometimes throw in mousse here, when I remember to use it - and you can also sometimes throw in eye lightening cream when I flinch at how dark the area surrounding my eyes is getting - so there is a possible three more *
7.  Eye shadow #1
8.  Eye shadow #2
9.  Eye liner
10.  Mascara
11.  Perfume

Those eleven numbered products are my core.  (On weekends, I skip the two eye shadows and the eye liner but everything else stays on the list.)

I’m just astonished at how many products I use during the day.  I don’t like it but what’s a body to do?

How about you?  How many products do you use in the morning?

Congratulations to Statia and Meester on the birth of their brand new baby boy!!  I’m so happy for them!!

When are the winds going to die down here in my neck of the woods?  When??

I woke up with a start at 2:00 AM this morning.  Buzz was already awake.  What the hell?  It sounded like the house was falling down.  The walls were rattling, windows were shaking, wind was howling!  Neither one of us feel very safe up on the top floor of the house when the wind gets to going like that.

So, we packed up the cats and went to the basement.  We got all snug and comfy and warm and fell fast asleep.  Until 4:30, when it was time to get up.  I reset the alarm for 5:00 and went back to sleep.

Now, we’re running behind but, damn, that was a good two hours of sleep!  It was so quiet and calm in the basement!

We’re trying to think of a reason to sleep down there again tonight…

Buzz and I have been trying to perfect a Walnut Shrimp recipe and I think we have finally gotten it down.  It’s sort of a project, so don’t go into this thinking that it’s a 30-minute-meal.  It takes time but it’s well worth it!  The recipe, well, the book, is in the extended entry and a picture of our first attempt is here.

Honeyed Walnut Shrimp, a la Buzz and Empress

First, prepare the walnuts.  There are two ways to do this – one is quicker and easier and the walnuts come out very sticky and yummy.  The other way takes a lot more time but the walnuts are crispier.  Both ways are delicious.  I recommend preparing these at least a day in advance, just so that you don’t spend all day in the kitchen on the day you want to eat this meal.  We also tried commercially made glazed walnuts and did not care for them in this dish.  It was definitely better with our own homemade nuts.

Quicker and Easier Walnuts

Place equal parts granulated sugar and water in a pot over medium-high heat.  (We used ¾ cup of each for 8 ounces of walnut meat).  Stir until the sugar is dissolved.  Add 6 to 8 ounces of shelled walnut halves.  Reduce heat to low and stir.  Cook, stirring often, for 15 minutes or until most of the syrup is gone.  Cool the nuts on a cookie sheet covered in waxed paper.

More Complicated Crispy Walnuts

1 cup walnuts
2 cups oil

Rinse the walnuts.  Boil them in 4-5 cups of water until the water is cloudy.  Drain the nuts and place into another 4-5 cups of boiling water.  Continue to change water until it remains clear.  (It took us four water changes.) Heat the oil until almost smoking and deep fry the blanched walnuts until golden.  Watch these carefully – they can burn very quickly!  Cool the walnuts on a cookie sheet.

------------------------------------------------

OK, now that the nuts are prepared, let’s get started on the shrimp. 

12 extra jumbo shrimp, or 24 large shrimp, shelled
1 tablespoon vodka
¼ teaspoon salt

Rinse the shrimp and pat dry.  Place them in a bowl, sprinkle over the vodka and salt.  Toss to cover.  Let the shrimp marinate for 30 minutes or so.

While the shrimp are marinating, start the rice.  We recommend using Near East Rice Pilaf, Original flavor.  You really don’t want strong flavors competing with the shrimp.  You can also use plain white rice, but we found this to be too dry.  The rice pilaf was perfect.  Prepare it according to package directions.

Once the shrimp are done marinating, they need to be coated for frying.

Beat two eggs in a bowl. (Actually, the next time we make this, I will use egg whites only - I think it will result in a lighter coating.) Place about ¼ cup of cornstarch on a plate.  Set out a wire rack with some paper towels under it.

Dip each shrimp into the egg and then into the cornstarch.  Make sure you shake off any excess cornstarch.  Place the shrimp on the wire rack.  When all shrimp are coated, let them sit for about 5 minutes to dry.

While they are drying, heat about 1 to 2 inches of vegetable oil in a large fry pan.  When that is hot, slip the shrimp into the oil and deep-fry for about 2-3 minutes per side.  When the shrimp are golden-pink, take them out of the oil and place on paper towels to drain.

Get your vegetables started now.  We have had this with frozen petite broccoli spears and also with frozen Asian mixed vegetables.  Both are good.  You could also steam or stir-fry whatever vegetables you like.  (Allow time at the beginning to prepare them if you are going to use fresh veggies.)

Now it’s time to make the sauce.

4 tablespoons mayonnaise (I use light)
2 tablespoons sweetened condensed milk
2-3 tablespoons milk (I use fat-free)

Mix all ingredients together with a whisk until very smooth.  You can add more milk if you’d like a thinner sauce.

Place the shrimp and sauce in a bowl and toss to cover the shrimp well.  (If you chose to make the crispy and complicated walnuts, throw them in the sauce, too.  If you made the easier ones, don’t put them in the sauce!)

Now to assemble the final product!  You can either do this on individual plates or on a large platter.

Place the rice pilaf on the bottom of the plate/platter.  Top with the vegetables, then the shrimp, and top with the walnuts.  (If you combined the walnuts and shrimp, you have one less step.)

Enjoy!!  It’s time-consuming but well worth the effort!  We like to serve a dry Riesling or sparkling white wine with this meal.  Delicious!

This has been a week filled with raccoons.  Or at least raccoon references.

It started a few nights ago when I got up in the middle of the night to take an Alka-Seltzer (my friendly constant companion).  As I was waiting for the fizzing to stop, I noticed one of our cats staring intently through the kitchen sheers.  I jokingly asked her if there was a squirrel out there (it was 1:30 in the morning).  I looked out and, with my sleep-bleary eyes, saw the biggest frickin’ squirrel on the face of the earth, stretched up from the deck railing and eating the suet out of the bird feeder.  “Man,” I thought to myself, “that’s one frickin’ huge squirrel!” All I could see was a grey and white fluffy underbelly.

I knocked on the window to scare it away and the “squirrel” S-L-O-W-L-Y moved his head to look at me.  And there, not four feet from me, was a raccoon, eating from my suet feeder!  I tried to chase him down and he eventually did move, but he was in no hurry at all.  No sirree, Bob.

Buzz saw the bugger two nights later - same scene - middle of the night, on the deck, in no hurry to leave. 

Cheeky!

Then there was the whole metal-falling-on-nose thing and there were some bets going around work as to whether or not I would end up looking like a raccoon. 

It’s all relative, I tell ya.  The world is not so big.  One general theme gets bounced around from place to place before running its course.

I hope the raccoon theme is all used up now.  Those things are big!  And I certainly do not wish to risk looking like a raccoon again.