Today is End-of-Year.  Traditionally, there are parts of work that are at the height of activity.  This is the biggest day of the year in some parts.

Not in my part.

There’s almost no one here and I’m sick.  I want to still be in bed, curled up and warm.  I was here late last night and so I used up all of my things to do then.  I’m stuck.  And I’m bored.

Any suggestions for what I can do to pass the time? 

Could someone please offer me up one vaguely legitimate reason why a person would go into a corporate break room, pour a cup of coffee from a pot that’s on a corporate coffee maker burner, leaving a thin sheen of coffee in the bottom of the pot and then NOT turn off the burner?

I’m not even asking anyone to make a fresh pot any more, no.  I’m not even going that far, although there are pre-measured envelopes of coffee in a drawer immediately under the coffee pot and the water is pumped in directly from the pipes so the only thing required is to dump out the old filter, put in a new filter, dump in the pre-measured envelope of coffee and push START.  But I’m not asking anyone to make a fresh pot.

I’m asking that they simply push the button that will turn off the burner under the thin sheen of coffee that they left in the pot so that it DOESN’T STINK UP THE ENTIRE FLOOR WHEN IT BURNS!!

Or am I just being unreasonable?  Tell me - is there in God’s green acres a legitimate reason for leaving said burner on under said sheen of coffee?  ‘Cause I’m just not getting it.

One of my teammates brought me in some cough medicine, which he swears will kick this cough right on out of me.  Scare it out of me, more likely!

This is the most foul-tasting thing to ever pass through these lips of mine!  I cannot express to you the sensation on my tongue that I experienced upon partaking of this “cure”.  I can only suggest that you take some Vicks Vap-o-Rub, melt it down with some Tabasco sauce and then spread it all around your mouth.  You might come close.

But, hey, if it helps me to stop coughing, who am I to argue??  I just don’t know that I’ll ever be able to taste my food again!

Today I checked the cafeteria menu at work and was delighted to find that the soup of the day was chicken noodle.  Perfect, I thought.

We got to the cafeteria and when I saw what one of the other specials was today, I decided against the chicken noodle soup in favor of the lesser-known pepperoni stromboli cure for the common cold! 

What?  What’s wrong with that?  Besides, this is not the common cold - it’s bronchitis.  It calls for some spicy medication!

I read my horoscope today:

The party atmosphere just isn’t stopping—not with you around, anyway. Make the festivities into roving ones, because this celebration’s even better if you take it on the road. Grab a few of your cohorts and follow your spontaneous instincts to even more fun. You’re definitely in the mood to explore some new spots and meet some new people, and some exciting change is in the air. The goodwill you bring with you creates lots of positive response.
- By Astrology.com

Do you think that sounds like the horoscope of someone with bronchitis?  It couldn’t be further away!

So I checked my Fortune of the Day.  Here’s what it said:

Eat more dark leafy greens.

What kind of a fortune is that?  That’s not a fortune - that’s your mother talking!

They sell it.  They sell kitty crack.  And it’s available to you through the mail.  They’ll bring it right to your door.  Yep.  It’s true.

Click to enlarge the crime.

No sooner had I brought in the package from the porch, than these two decided it was time to dig in.  After all, Mommy hadn’t ordered their food soon enough for them to have it for three days.  They had to eat the crappy premium healthy stuff from the store - poor babies!  So they deserved it, whether it was feeding time or not.  And they took it.  They took their kitty crack.  And they were joined very soon afterwards by the other two.  Cats were swarming!

Seriously, though, this stuff is 100% guaranteed, it’s all-natural and healthy for your cats and kittens.  I got a free sample and they told me to put it side-by-side with the cats’ normal food and see what happened.  Kitty crack.  I don’t know what’s in it but these cats cannot get enough!  Check it out for yourself. 

Flint River Ranch Pet Foods

So, what did you all get for Christmas?  Was Santa nice to you this year?

Well, folks, time is running short.  It’s almost Christmas and we’ve still got quite a few things on our list that we have to do before then, so I think I’ll sign off for the season now.

I want to wish you all a wonderful holiday, be that Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Solstice or Festivus! 

Peace be with you all!

I was just thinking about how some acronyms have become common words now.  (Yes, I think about this stuff - shut up!) Words like:

LASER - light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation
RADAR - radio detection and ranging
SONAR - sound navigation and ranging
SCUBA - self-contained underwater breathing apparatus
SWAG - scientific wild-ass guess
(that one busts me up because it is an acceptable business term)

and for the computer geek in all of us:

BASIC - beginner’s all-purpose symbolic instruction code
FORTRAN - formula translator
COBOL - common business-oriented language

Then there’s the whole SNAFU and FUBAR genre of words, which I won’t get into here because this is a family blog!  Got any good ones?

Found this over at Dawn’s…

You Are Blitzen

Always in good spirits, you’re the reindeer who loves to party down with Santa. Why You’re Naughty: You’re always blitzed on Christmas Eve, while flying! Why You’re Nice: You mix up a mean eggnog martini.

Today is my cousin Kathy’s birthday. 

Happy birthday, Kathy, and we’ll see you soon!

Today, I have two graduated kids in my sphere of parental influence (albeit, one is an “in-law” in training). 

1) My eldest birth son finished school last week.  College, folks.  Done.  Finito.  (Official graduation ceremony in May.) And he already has a full-time job waiting for him.  I’m so proud of him!  I never went to college, so this is quite an accomplishment in my mind.  Congrats, Jess!

2) My potential future daughter-in-law just completed her schooling last week, too.  Only it’s her second school.  She has two degrees now!  Good grief!!  And I just found out this morning that she’s also got a “real-life” job (that’s what she called it!) and I wish her all the best!

Congratulations to my two graduates!!  I’m delighted and very proud of both of you!!

OK, is it wrong that I wanted to tackle a 9-year-old boy, pummel him senseless, and steal his candy?  I was in just the right position to do it, too!

I was walking down the aisle at work back to my desk and a woman and her son were walking in front of me - slowly.  They had just come out of the room with the vending machines and he was ripping into a package of Twizzlers.

I had the distinct pleasure of walking in the wake of the best-smelling candy of all time! 

Mmmmm, Twizzlers!

I don’t know about you but, as I was growing up, I received a couple good points of advice.  These came from my mother.

1.  Always wear clean socks when you leave the house.
2.  Always wear clean underwear when you leave the house.

These tidbits were to make it so that, should you ever have an emergency, you wouldn’t suffer the humiliation of wearing dirty socks or underwear, on top of whatever other emergency you were experiencing.

I know these things.  I know what to do before I leave the house.  However, the other night, I found myself in the position of waking up my husband and announcing that I thought we should go visit the hospital.  (Everything is perfectly fine, by the way.  No cause for alarm.) I only woke him up after I had gotten up and shaved my legs and pits and trimmed my toenails.  My socks were clean, my clothes were clean, my teeth were brushed, and so was my hair.  I was ready to face the emergency staff with my head held high!

Right after we got to the hospital, I stopped at the rest room.  To my horror, I saw that I had forgotten to change my undies before departing the house and this particular pair of black undies had been through the wash with the whites and the BLEACH, rendering them a sad shade of brownish grey instead of black.  They were also far from being my newest pair.  Yes, folks, they had holes in them.

I was mortified!  What would my mother say?  Would she disown me if she found out??

I could only hope that the gown that they gave me would provide sufficient coverage to hide my shame!  The nurse led me into Room #5 and pointed to the folded gown on the bed.  I began to sweat.  It didn’t look very substantial to me.

But fate was on my side that cold night, my friends.  My new best friend, Lisa, the triage nurse, said to me, “You can take your jeans off or leave them on, whatever you want to do.” I was spared!  I was saved!  I wanted to hug her!  I was able to keep my dirty little secret well hidden.

Lesson learned!  I will never leave the house again without checking the status of all undergarments!  (Please don’t tell my mom, OK??)