I am so digging the new(ish) Keane album. I am listening to it at fairly high volume and it is totally doing it for me!

Run out and buy it. Or do what I did and buy it through iTunes. How convenient!

Oh - and have a very Happy New Year! Don't drink and drive! You may, however, drink and post, if you'd like. We all like to be entertained!!

Lovely, lovely, lovely!! I am singing along to my iTunes and we're in a Four Seasons groove.

I still have quite a cold. Possibly a sinus infection. And lots of hacking coughing.

I'm singing along with the Four Seasons.

Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? Stop on by!

Today I REALLY had nothing to do. I'm waiting test results and for other people to review the test results. In the meantime, I sit and wait. So when one of the other buildings on the campus had an emergency outage, which could last for two days, I was the first to volunteer to give up my desk and go work from home! It's the least I can do, right??

Honestly, there was no reason for me to physically be at work today and I'm already scheduled to work from home tomorrow, so it's a perfect situation!

I'm always willing to help out!

Well, here I sit at work. I can't very well be reading my book here, and I have finished everything I have to do today (except for my 1:00 meeting), so here I am! Did you miss me???

Let's see. What was I going to say? I just witnessed something that could have had tragic results but instead turned out to be pretty humourous. You see, we're "undecorating" the area today. (I guess no one has anything to do!) Something had to be taken down from the ceiling. So someone stood on the arm of a chair, holding scissors, and then the chair tipped over and he landed on someone else. All I could imagine was that one or both of them got stabbed with the scissors. I swear, I had 9-1 dialed and I was ready to finish the other -1. But no one got hurt and now I can go back to what I was doing.

Nothing.

Happy Hump Day!

Hi, folks! Christmas is over. Did everyone make it through OK? It's been a rough season for those I know and love, so I'm sorta glad it's done.

I was sitting in my comfy chair night before last because I couldn't sleep. It was early morning and I turned my head and looked at the many many shelves of books to my left. I saw so many that I haven't read and I remembered a bunch that I got for Christmas presents this year and I decided that I'm not getting any younger. I want to read about two zillion books and I won't live that long, so I must get started and at least try to make a dent.

So, instead of blogging in my free time, I'm going to be reading. Books, not blogs. That's the plan, anyway. I'll check in some time later on and get back into the swing of things, I'll bet. After all, I do have another skin coming sometime early next year! But for now, I'm going to grab myself a cup of coffee and retire to the library. I don't have to work today, so this is my chance to make a lot of progress on one of my current books.

Have fun and hang in there, y'all! I wish you simply the bestest New Year ever and I'll be seeing you!

Merry Christmas to you all. We're off to do our own Christmas Eve thing now.

And to all a good night!

I started the Christmas present wrapping very early this year. Well, not really early. Noon today is not so early, is it? Anyway, the pile of presents gets smaller and smaller every year as kids grow older and older so there weren't many to do and it still took me 2 hours to get it all done!

I don't have the wrapping bug in me any more. My tolerance for getting everything all pretty and sparkly is just about gone. I used to put package tie-ons on everything and go get special bows and ribbons but now it's like, feh. Can you see what's inside the paper? No? Done.

I blame it on gift bags. Once they invented them, I wanted no part of actual paper any more. Grab a couple pieces of tissue paper, crumble them up and shove everything in a bag. Yippee! And don't ever sign the little card attached to the bag. That way, the recipient can reuse the bag!

Martha Stewart tips, Empress style!

Wow! Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang this morning at 10:00. We were both dozing on the couch, recovering from way too much happy partying with our bestest friends, Bob and Beanne, and we had no idea who could be at the door.

Here's who!

It's a Christmas present from Pete & Erin - our other bestest friends!! Wow, again! I can't believe you guys! And to go to such risk to send it to us, too! Let's hope you're not spending your "Fleas Navidad" in the clink!

Buzz and I went to a new restaurant in our town last night for dinner. It's the Texas Roadhouse. The place opens at 4:00 and we got there at 4:30. It was already crowded. Good sign? Or just a sign that it's a new restaurant and people are too pooped to cook during the shopping season?

We walked up to the door and there was a sign that gave us a warning that there was peanut dust absolutely everywhere. Huh? I know nothing of this restaurant so that actually intrigued me. I was amused.

They were right - there are buckets of peanuts all over this restaurant and apparently it's OK to just toss your hulls overboard wherever you happen to be standing. Interesting!

Another feature of this place is that you can pick out your steak if you are of a mind to reject the "small" portions on the menu. I opted for the babiest of steaks on the menu, thanks very much. I mean, I don't pick out my lobster at a seafood restaurant and I'm not about to pick out my cow at this one.

They bake fresh rolls every 5 minutes. These are tiny nuggets of goodness, served with a sweetened cinnamon butter. Again - intriguing! And quite yummy! We both started with one of their legendary 1800 margaritas (on the rocks, of course!) and were not disappointed. They are served in bucket-sized glasses and worth the $6.25. One lasted me all the way through dinner. Then we both had the house salad with blue cheese dressing and we both chose the 6 oz. filet, cooked rare as god intended. Buzz also had a side order of their famous fall-off-the-bone ribs. He had the baked potato with everything they could find to put on top of it, like he does, and I ordered the mashed potatoes. To my enormous surprise, the waitress asked if I wanted sour cream, cheddar cheese and bacon on my potatoes. I asked, "On mashed potatoes?" and she said, "You will not believe these!" Bring it on, sister!! It was a heavenly, sinful delight!

The steak was delicious in its simplicity, not too much seasoning, and I scarfed down the potatoes like I'd never had a carbohydrate before in my life! I had a couple bites of the ribs and I even loved them! (And I don't like barbecue!)

Two enthusiastic thumbs up for the Texas Roadhouse! And by the time we left, there were a good 30 people waiting to be seated. Sheesh!

P.S. We ordered Rattlesnake Bites to split for an appetizer. Trust me when I tell you that this was NOT a good decision for someone with chapped lips. My face still hurts!

P.P.S. At one point, the wait staff lined up and danced. A line dance. In the aisle of the restaurant. Hmm.

Beth left a comment that triggered a thought in my head. Kudos to Beth for accomplishing the nearly impossible!

Oh, wait - that's not the point. She mentioned pigtails and I responded back to her that I was safe in not committting that particular fashion faux pas because I never put my hair in pigtails. And then the thought hit...

As always, I save my favorite for last. Merry Christmas!

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This will be the last installment of Christmas Picture Pages before the big day! And I only have three of them, so it will all be over soon!

Happy day, everyone!

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This is great!

Scared of Santa

I've seen this is several places surfing around with Blog Explosion. Just another one of those examples where I don't have the URL! Oh, well!

Enjoy!

Update: Found it! I last saw this at Mood Stabilizer. Whew! Now I can rest easy!

Going into MSN Hotmail to get my e-mails, I see this little item on the left side of the screen:

I had to see what the fashion faux pas was supposed to be in that picture. I mean, if it's a faux pas to have silver hair, I am so out of luck! So I clicked on the link and browsed the article. I can't find anything that references that picture! The closest it comes is talking about hat head or static electricity. What's up with that? I want to see what the issue is in that picture!

This morning, a wise man told me something to take with me through the rest of my life. He said:

You make your own luck.

We are expecting a delivery of epic proportions today. Originally, it was scheduled for between 9 and 11. Then I got a call on Monday and they said it would be after noon - "definitely not between 9 and 11", they said with a chuckle. So, we made plans to go out to breakfast this morning and then to do some last-minute shopping.

We did the breakfast thing and then we came home without doing the shopping. Because we had little nagging voices that told us not to go too far.

You make your own luck. And sometimes it's by not pushing it.

We just got a call. The delivery of epic proportions will be here before 10:30. But we were home to receive the call and we will be here to accept the delivery.

You make your own luck.

He's a wise, wise man.

Could someone please explain to me why you have to get chapped lips right in the middle of a miserable cold? Isn't it bad enough to be hacking like a fiend and completely congested and in a total funk? No, you have to get cracked, sore chapped lips - and possibly even a chapped nose from all the tissue use!

Cruel, cruel world!

Thanks to everyone for participating in my Christmas Song Meme! All songs were guessed and that's pretty impressive, considering I had some Kate Bush, The Pogues, and Queen songs on there.

Good job, everyone!

My doctor just prescribed Naprosyn for my rotator cuff tendonitis. I regularly take Anaprox for cramps and I have for years. Both of these products are name brands for naproxen (as is Aleve). I had just popped my first of two-per-day Naprosyn this morning when I clicked on CNN and read this headline:

FDA warns naproxen users

Did you ever feel like you had just swallowed something and then turned the bottle over to see that it was actually poison? Just great!

I have freakishly small nostrils. I admit it. As a result of this, those around me get treated to the Great Honk whenever I have a cold. I can't help this, people. It just happens! Do you think I enjoy this monstrous noise? NO! I don't! Now, excuse me while I go blow my nose in private. *HONKS*

Since I never knew which way that saying went:

Feed a cold, starve a fever

-or-

Starve a cold, feed a fever

I'm getting my chance to try them both tonight! It's been almost two hours since we called for the pizza and they're still not here. Two hours!! We just called to see what's taking so long and they acted as if there was nothing amiss. It's on its way. Calm down, lady!

*swoons from hunger*

Thank goodness no one is home with me! I've the tunes cranked (mostly because my ears are all clogged up and I can't hear!) and I'm trying to sing along. In between the spasmodic coughing fits, you can hear my lovely, lovely scratchy, comes-and-goes voice.

You know, George Harrison recorded Dark Horse with a cold. He sounded great! What's the matter with me? I'm pretty sure the cats have run away because they think I'm in here torturing the other one.

Yeah, I sound pretty!

I'm working from home today. I didn't mean to and I don't think I should be, but I have a whopper of a cold. I'm sniffling, sneezing, coughing (in that gross, phlegm-y way) and suffering from the famous general malaise. I can't breathe and that makes me tired. Blech.

I was beginning to get a bit hungry, so I went to the kitchen to make myself some toast. I made it the way my mom always made it for me from the moment I was born. It's how I eat my toast. And I began to think about it.

I am confused about something. Now, this has the potential to make you shiver in digust, as I've seen it make other people do when I've spoken of it in the past. So, only the brave should continue...

I've seen this one around. Now, see, this is my biggest problem with Blog Explosion. I see things, I think they're good ideas, but I'm in the middle of something and don't write down where I found them. And then I can no longer locate them when I want to reference them. Well, I'm sure you've seen this one, too, but I put a Christmas twist on it. Here are the rules:

Step 1: Put your media player on random.
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 25 songs that play (mine are all Christmas songs).
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from.
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly.

So here are my 25 lines. Send me an e-mail or leave a comment if you know what some of them are.

1. And haulin' through the snow at a frightening speed With a half a dozen deer with Rudy to lead Little Saint Nick - Oliquig
2. They're singing "Deck the Halls" But it's not like Christmas at all Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Warchild
3. Come to cover the lovers But don't you wake them up Come to sparkle the dark up With just a touch of make-up Come to cover the muck up Ooh, with a little luck December Will Be Magic Again - Vickie (magnoliaglen.org)
4. Oh my love we've had our share of tears Oh my friend we've had our hopes and fears Thank God It's Christmas - funbabie
5. What a bright time, it's the right time To rock the night away Jingle Bell Rock - Sofia
6. You’ll be doin’ all right, with your Christmas of white Blue Christmas - Warchild
7. Peace on earth, and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled! Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - Warchild
8. And so my beloved, When red leaves are falling, The love bells shall ring out The Bells of St. Mary - Vickie (magnoliaglen.org)
9. A star, a star, dancing in the night With a tail as big as a kite - Do You Hear What I Hear - Warchild
10. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Jess
11. And if you ever saw it You would even say it glows Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Warchild
12. Next year I could be oh so good If you'd check off my Christmas list Santa Baby - Warchild
13. And the sun is red like a pumpkin head It's shining so your nose wont freeze Marshmallow World - Jess
14. Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle, Oh what a beautiful sight Here Comes Santa Claus - Oliquig
15. Snowflakes in the air Carols everywhere Christmas Time is Here - Oliquig
16. It doesn't show signs of stopping And I've bought some corn for popping Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! - Jess
17. For when they placed it on his head He began to dance around Frosy the Snowman - Warchild
18. Children laughing People passing Silver Bells - Warchild
19. The near and the dear one The old and the young Happy Christmas (War is Over) - Warchild
20. Should you stop? Better not, much too busy Pretty Paper - lucy
21. The boys of the nypd choir Were singing galway bay And the bells were ringing out For christmas day Fairytale of New York - Warchild
22. Long lay the world In sin and error pining O Holy Night - Warchild
23. Where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow White Christmas - Warchild
24. Take a look in the five-and-ten, glistening once again It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - Jess
25. A wonder to behold it was With many colors bright Marvelous Toy - lucy

This is courtesy of my grand friend, Stumblina (aka cjh).

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.

Where upon the old lady Answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."

That'll get you started on a Sunday, huh?

Alrighty, then, here is the list of things that absolutely must be done this weekend. I'm sorry for boring you with my mundane-ity...mundanitude...mundaniousness... Oh, forget it. Sorry to bore you! But I always seem to work better with a list and it's the competitor in me that makes it so that I always want to come back and cross off those pesky buggers! So you get to see how my weekend is progressing!

1. Drink coffee
2. Get a shower and get dressed
3. Drink more coffee
4. Read blogs
5. Go to Hallmark store and pay outrageous prices for Christmas cards
6. Mail a few cards
7. Write out the rest of the cards to be handed out
8. Finish Christmas shopping
9. Start wrapping presents
10. Snuggle with my honey
11. Get to the liquor store
12. Make a mix disc Note: I can't do this until the other Amazon stuff arrives
13. Pet cats
14. Decorate Christmas tree
15. Balance checkbook (thank dog for Quicken!)
16. Laundry

That should keep me busy!

And my favorite...

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Let's do this again! Courtesy of my friends, Harvey and MIKE, I bring you another edition of Christmas Picture Pages!

I knew it! Here it is - just after 2:00 AM and now I'm awake. We went to bed tonight around 7:00 PM to try and catch up but it backfired.

I knew it! I was a little off in my prediction, however. I predicted that I'd wake up at 1:00 and it was actually 1:42. So I guess I can consider myself having "slept in"?

I knew it! I told myself that I should take a sleeping pill tonight, even though I was tired to my toes but I didn't do it. When will I ever listen? I'm like a bad kid!

Anyway, I think I'll go watch some TV now. Maybe I can catch a rerun of Cheers or Wings or some other one-word-title show. And tomorrow's another day, but that day is Friday and that's simply excellent!

I hope that you're all sleeping soundly with visions of sugar plums dancing in your heads. Oh, no, wait - that sounds like it might be a mess, so how about dreams of peace on earth and good will toward all? That's better.

I think my brain may be asleep. Shhh!! Baby's sleeping!

I'm so tired today. I meant to go to bed really, really early last night but things conspired against that plan and, instead, I was up pretty late (for me). Now I'm sitting here drinking a really hot cappuccino and it's like I'm Eddie in Christmas Vacation knocking on the side of his head - there's jes' nothing! No heat, no flavor, nothing.

So I think I'll try not to tax my poor addled brain too much today. I'll be surfing, but I don't think I'll be posting much. Of course, I may do another Christmas picture pages day. I got a bunch from my friend, Harvey, so maybe I'll launch into that a little later. We'll see.

In the meantime, have a great day. And I am going to reiterate this - mind your head and hold onto your friends and family! I'm not kidding! People around me are just not listening!

I refuse to be scrooged this year! I love this time of year and I will enjoy my holiday, come hell or high water!

Or, maybe it's because I'm resisting that bad things keep happening...

No, I know I'm a powerful force in the universe, but I'm not that strong, am I??

Let's get some good will going, shall we? Let's make this a warm and wonderful holiday. PLEASE for the sake of all that is wintry and jingle-bell-y. Let's get some Andy Williams on the old CD player and make it the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Who's with me??

Looks like my major league pitching career must be put on hold for a while. I have rotator cuff tendonitis. And I was just going to go try out! Damn!

Anyway, this hurts - I can't imagine what a torn rotator cuff feels like! I have to do physical therapy two to three times a week for four to five weeks and then they'll re-evaluate. Fun stuff, huh?

Well, at least I can put a name to this pain in my shoulder I've been feeling. That's good, at least.

I have been hit with a case of the uncontrollable giggles. Something at work struck me as so funny and I can't seem to stop the giggles.

I'm sitting here at my desk trying to stifle them. My stomach is hurting from trying to hold them in!

I have two things to mention this morning.

First, I woke up with a twisted morphing of Aaron Neville and Gloria Estefan's voices in my head singing "Let It Snow". This has disturbed me more than you can imagine.

Second, I have a public service announcement to make. And here it is.

If you are taking a shower in a stall shower, no matter how safe and sound it seems, do not lean on the door for support while washing your feet or shaving your legs. All that does is make it so that you are suddenly on the outside of the shower and cold. Trust me on this because I have done my research.

You all have a good day, 'k?

Buzz and I are going to our monthly wine tasting tonight. I was reviewing the menu for the evening and I thought I saw this on the menu:

Angelhair pasta and yellowish tuna

Ummm...no thanks! I think I'll pass!

(It was yellowfin tuna, naturally.)

Once again, courtesy of my good friend, ls (who has been supplying me with a lot of blog fodder lately!)...

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My brain must be in the holiday spirit! I woke up with The Carpenters' "Merry Christmas Darling" in my head this morning. That's a good sign, don't you think?

In other news, the Christmas tree is up in the living room but not decorated yet. But it is a very pretty tree! Small, but fine. And there's nothing wrong with that!

Picture: Moon & Back Graphics, discovered surfing along with Google

As previously mentioned, I have to decorate my desk at work. I started this morning.

I was just sitting here reading my e-mails when I felt something crawling up my right arm. It felt absolutely huge! I froze because I didn't know which way it was heading and I didn't want it to skuttle up my sleeve and into my shirt. So I sat and sat and felt it lightly moving, but it seemed to be staying in the same place.

I decided to exercise my position as a being higher on the food chain and I quickly pushed my arm down into my desk to squish whatever it was. I was expecting a big mess and possibly a mortal scream...

ELF - buy it, watch it.

That is all.

This is a weird holiday season for me. I feel like things are right on the edge and that someone or something is going to topple over any second. I feel like if we can get through Christmas, things will stabilize again. But there could be something terrible happening at any given moment.

Hang on to your friends and family, folks. I told you a while back to mind your head but I forgot to tell you to watch out for your loved ones, too.

Come on, Christmas! Get here and let us all breathe a sigh of relief! Of course, I have had two Christmas mornings in my life with that "phone call". So, let me rephrase - Come on, Day After Christmas! Yeah, that's better.

I've mentioned this before but here it is again. I'm being forced to participate in non-work-related activities at work. Well, not forced, but the peer pressure is on! I just don't like this kind of thing. I feel like if I'm at work, I should be working. Not decorating my desk! But here I go. I have two bags of the worst Christmas decorations (it's a "tackiest" competition) and I'm going to go in tomorrow and drape my desk and surrounding area with it all.

*whines*

I don't want to do it!

But at least I am scheduled to work from home on the day that they're actually doing the judging, so that's good.

Can I request that this magically become a three-day weekend? I really need a day to just sit and be a slug. So, can I, huh? Who can do that for me? I'll make you one fantastic mix disc, if you can come through for me!

Thanks ever so much in advance!

I'm sitting at my desk taking the "Microsoft Access 2000 Step by Step" course. The sample database that they are using is for a gourmet chocolate company. You'd think I would be hungry for chocolate, wouldn't you? But no. Here's my problem...

Every time I see the word "bonbon", I think it says "bourbon" and I want to go have a drink!

Good thing it's Friday!!

From my very good friend, ls, here are your holiday eating tips. You're welcome!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares
that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

I'm trying to claw myself back into the holiday spirit, really I am! I would really be happier if this headache would go away. It's not nearly as severe as yesterday morning, but I think that 34 hours with a headache is enough, don't you?

But here's my offering for the holiday today. It's a little strained but it's heartfelt! (It's also probably violating some copyright laws but I will tell you that it was done by Edward Gorey. I don't know how else to give credit.)

*Click to enlarge*

Preface #1 - At 3 AM, I was 26 hours deep into a migraine, I am hormonal, I haven't slept much in a week and we have friends coming over tonight, which, for some reason, has launched one panic attack after another over the last few days.

Preface #2 - It was the cleaner who sent the Christmas candle in the bathroom crashing to the floor and not me. Not only did it crash to the floor, it was obliterated, as was its friend standing in the window next to it. And then I found out that, although I did buy 12 new bulbs just in case, they have the wrong size base and don't fit into those candles. It was a desperate search but I found two - JUST TWO - more bulbs that will fit.

And now here's the scenario. I awoke in the middle of the night, feeling the need to get up and visit the bathroom. But it wasn't terribly urgent and I was tired. So, with one eye closed and the other only one-quarter open, I looked at the clock to see if it was close to time to get up for work anyway. It was 2:52. I didn't think I could last until 5:30, so I got up for a quick visit. Just a quick visit, you know. Two minutes - I'd be back in bed.

I believe that we have the tiniest toilet pipes in the world. These things back up on a whim. And like I said - I was in there for a "quick" visit. So I finished up and flushed. With my eyes still at half mast, I couldn't believe I was seeing the toilet back up. "Huh?", I thought, in that still-asleep, can't figure it out intelligence that is oh, so present at 3 AM. It stopped and I flushed again. Normally, that's all that is needed.

Oh, no - this puppy was not going anywhere. And I couldn't think fast enough to stop it. Like the waters of the Red Sea crashing over the Eqyptians, the water burst forth from the confines of the toilet and onto the floor. I grabbed at the magazine basket and got that out of the way but the little rug around the toilet was unavoidably victimized.

Out comes the plunger - more water on the floor, of course - and I finally get things moving again. But now I have the floor to clean up. I reached for the hand towel but that was going to be sadly inadequate. So I used my hair towel from that morning.

In the process of sopping up the water, I bumped into the wire of one of the Christmas candles and the candle - with it's brand new, the-only-one-left-in-the-house bulb - came crashing down onto the floor. Out of respect for my relatives who read this, I will not tell you the words that I screamed at 3:05 AM. I ripped the other one out of the window and threw it onto the vanity.

Then I noticed that the toilet was running and had been since the plunger. I jiggled the handle but it kept running and running, all the while I'm sopping and sopping. So I had to take the candle and vase and basket and box of tissues off the top of this toilet - that NEVER has a problem like this - and fix the inner workings of the toilet.

At 3:20, I climbed back into bed, wide awake and pissed off. I was going to get up then to post this, but I figured I had better try to get some more sleep and I did go back to sleep eventually.

The kicker - when I got my shower this morning, I went to grab my hair towel and totally forgot that I had used it in the middle of the night to mop up the floor. So I had to get out of the shower, soaking wet, and run to the hall closet to get a hair towel.

It's time for some coffee, don't you think??

Hold me!

I had been without my internet connection for 2½ hours and I was starting to get the shakes! I sat with a glazed look on my face trying to figure out what I could possibly do. No thought of reading a book or playing with my cats or wrapping presents ever crossed my mind. I just sat and sat. Every once in a while, I unplugged the cable modem and plugged it back in to see if it was working yet.

And then just as I was about to give up and resign myself to life without the internet - WHATEVER THAT MEANS! - I remembered that there were about half a dozen other boxes between the wall and my keyboard that I could unplug and plug back in!

Glory be!! That did the trick and I'm back online, baby!!!

That was close.

I need a drink...

Two men in blue uniforms, carrying big metal canisters with long wands attached to them, just left my house. It was our quarterly exterminator visit. This is our first year having them come by every three months and I think it's helping. Since we found that we live in spider heaven, it's been worth the monthly payments just to keep those suckers at bay. Even with the spraying, we still get a huge amount outside and a fair number inside. But, I'd rather have spiders than roaches or water bugs or ants. At least the spiders are serving a useful purpose and eating everything else.

I digress.

Every time they come around, they put down little sticky traps so they can evaluate what is tromping around the house and tweak the treatments, if necessary. At the end of today's inspection and new spray-fest (which I can taste in my mouth and it's not good!), the one guy walks up to me and says, "You had a mouse in the basement and a baby mouse in the garage." "Oh," says I. "Glad you caught 'em?" (What else does one say to that?) And then he says,

"But they were both pretty hard so I don't think you have a problem."

Oh, thank you for the visual.

(Photo by Jeanie M.)

Buzz and I watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" the other night. The real one. The Dr. Seuss cartoon one.

And as the Whos down in Whoville were decorating for Christmas, they were singing a song called "Trim Up the Tree". After many years of watching this show (when my middle son was two, he wanted to watch this show all year round - practically every day, so I've seen it ALOT!), I still can't make out most of the words in the song but that's understandable because it's Dr. Seuss and he made up his own language.

I found the lyrics this morning and they are in the extended entry, if you're interested. But the reason I looked them up was so that I could finally put to rest the sick and twisted phrase that I always sang in my head at the end of that song:

Trim up your uncle and and your aunt with shards of Who cut glass

Now, that ain't right!! And it never even occurred to me until this year that what was in my head right at that line was very violent and disturbing! I'm telling you - I had a sick, sick childhood!

Here are the real lyrics...

I found this survey result chart on my survey-takin' place. I found that second column to be very interesting and sad. Last year, who in the general public had even heard of Spyware, let alone been so adversely affected by it? I'm so glad there's Firefox and even more glad to be using my iMac!

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And my favorite...

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And right on the heels of my Thanksgiving Picture Pages day, we roll right into Christmas Picutre Pages Day!!

*Kermit the Frog YAYYYYY!!!!*

These are, once again, courtesy of my good friend, ls. Enjoy!

*Click to enlarge*

Buzz's last post made me remember a man who seemed to really know what he liked when it came to his women. Yes, folks, I'm speaking, of course, about John Derek.

I read a tiny bio of him and it said that he will be most remembered for being married to three beautiful women. Well, truth be told, he really was married to one beautiful woman...

I have been in a great mood for the last two days - which is pretty good for me! And then I had to go and ruin it by posting a rant about doctors.

Well, let me try to get back into the spirit of things. And frankly, how can I avoid it? Music from A Charlie Brown Christmas is playing. Great stuff!!

After I called my old doctor and found out that I have to drive an hour to go have my blood pressure taken so that they'll renew my Imitrex prescription for migraines, I decided to make the move to a new - closer - doctor. There's one right down the street from me and I don't much care who I go to - especially since the one person I did like at my old doctor's office has moved on.

We've lived here for 3½ years and I've never switched because all the new doctors that I called after I moved told me I had to have a physical first before they'd see me when I'm sick. I'm sorry, but it doesn't usually occur to me to go to the doctor when I'm not sick. So I've never gone.

But I decided this was a good breaking point. I'm not sick, it's been almost 2 years since my last physical, so I thought I could just switch now, expecting that I won't be able to get an appointment for a couple of months, but I'm in no hurry...

Speaking of things related to trees (well, I was thinking about them in my head anyway), Buzz joined the National Arbor Day Foundation back at the beginning of summer. For the whopping donation of $10, you got to choose 10 trees for them to send to you as a thank you gift. We would like to plant lots and lots of trees on our property (mostly so we don't have to see the neighbors any more), so we figured this is a good start.

They only ship out the trees at the proper planting time (spring and fall). We just about forgot about them. And then they showed up last week. Ten trees in a package that was 24" tall and 4" wide.

Ten trees. In a package that was 24" tall and 4" wide.

We giggled, but then we planted them this past weekend. (And when I say that "we" planted them, that means that Buzz did all the hard work and I stood there and pointed to where I thought they should go. Only I didn't even do that very well and let him pick out most of the spots.)

We are holding out a tiny bit of hope that three of them might bud in the spring. The rest are going to be tough to even find where we planted them!

Good luck, miniature saplings!

What happened here? When I went to sleep last night, during the fourth quarter of the game, the score was 29-17 with Dallas in the lead. The game ended 43-39! A win, nonetheless, and I'm grateful for it, but I'm glad I didn't watch that last part of the game! Sheesh!

Rookie sparks Cowboys' thrilling victory

It drives me crazy when offenses get all complacent after they have a lead:

The Cowboys blew a 12-point lead in the fourth quarter themselves before rallying. They scored 26 unanswered points spanning the second and third quarters, aided by three Seattle fumbles.

And I'm sure it does not please Bill Parcells!!

But, like I said, that's a "W" for my 'boys. And delighted to have it!

Courtesy of my good friend, pd. I love this!

If you stare at the image long enough, you should see a giraffe.

Good morning, everyone! I have recovered from my nasal spray problems last night - thank goodness! That was way too much!

In other news, I completely forgot my parents' anniversary yesterday. Nice daughter, huh??

I had a visual for this post but then I lost it. Too much going on all at once for me to keep track of myself! So I'll just have to describe it as best I can.

There I was, innocently surfing along with Blog Explosion, when I got to a religious site. I started to read the most recent post but then I glanced up at the banner to see what the number was for me to move on to the next post...

It has been over four hours since my unfortunate incident with the nasal spray. Damn, if it doesn't still hurt! My whole sinus area is screaming and I have sharp pains in my left temple.

Please, folks, do not ever do this!

Seriously! I thought this would be humourous blog material when it happened but I think I've had about enough now. I'm ready for it to stop!

Oh my dog! If I don't pull through from this one, at least I may have saved a life or two.

Here's my warning:

No matter how much you try and try to get your new nasal spray dispenser to dispense in the normal way and it doesn't work, DO NOT - I repeat - DO NOT THROW YOUR HEAD BACK, TURN THAT SUCKER UPSIDE DOWN AND SQUEEZE IT INTO YOUR NOSE!

You will get a full stream of Vicks that shoots up your nose and down your throat and up into your brain all at the same time and, folks, this is NOT PLEASANT!!!

So, if I don't make it, someone please send that warning to Vicks and get them to add it to the back of packaging.

I think I'm beginning to hallucinate...

I bought these kicky new earrings from Kohl's. Clearance - normally $80.00 - marked down to $19.00. Cool, huh? Well, they arrived today. They're these thread earrings. I've seen them and I think they look zippy but I never knew how they attached to your ears. Until today. They call them "thread" because they have a sort of needle on the end and you thread them through the hole in your ear. No big deal - I've had pierced ears for 28 years so sticking things into holes in my ears is not a problem. I tried one on before my shower today just to see how it looks. It looks great!

The problem came when I took it out. I just sort of tugged on the front of it and it slid out of my ear. I was watching in the mirror as I did it and I sort of gagged as I watched. Ew! Skeevy!!!

Then, when I was done my shower, I was drying off, but had only gotten to my shoulders when I heard the phone ring. I went out to see who it was, in case it was work my husband, which it was, and I asked him if I could call him back when I was dry. Right when I was on the phone, the cat came up to me and rubbed along my wet leg. Ew!! Skeevy too!!!!

That's it for the two skeevies.

The potential miracle is that I think I have figured out how to raise the shade in the bathroom in such a way as to NOT knock the Christmas candles out of the window, sending them crashing and shattering to the hard tile floor. Wish me luck! If I get through the season, we'll call that a miracle because we've lived here for almost four years and I haven't gotten through one yet!

While we're on the subject of Christmas songs, I thought I'd share some of my very favorite bloopers. These are the words that I sing when I'm singing along with these wonderful songs. I sing these mangled lyrics every.single.time. There is something seriously wrong with my brain, methinks.

Enjoy!

1. From the lovely song "Sleigh Ride" where they sing "our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy and cozy are we" -- I always, always sing "our teeth are nice and rosy..."

2. From "Blue Christmas" where they sing "decorations of red on a green Christmas tree" -- in my head, those words are "decorations of white on a blue Christmas tree" - why?

3. From the fun little "Jingle Bell Rock" where they sing "Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square in the frosty air" -- yeah, I always end that with "...in the salty air". EVERY TIME!!

4. Another from "Sleigh Ride" where they sing "It'll nearly be like a picture print by Currier and Ives" -- I'm singing "...picture paint by Currier and Ives" - What does that even mean?

5. And the coup de grâce, from "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" where they sing "She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep" -- I cheerily sing "...I was LOCKED up in my bedroom..."

What kind of sick childhood did I have??

Please tell me you have similar issues with Christmas songs! Please tell me it's not just me!

I'm sitting here listening to my very favorite Christmas album - A Christmas Gift for You by the old Phil Spector "Wall of Sound" bands. Classic stuff!!

And as I was listening to "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" by The Ronettes, followed by "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" by The Crystals, I began to suspect that these wonderful old children's Christmas carols were really written by bitter old men. Think about it -

oh what a laugh it would have been if daddy had only seen mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

Doesn't that sound like a jilted lover wrote that??

And what about this - then how the reindeer loved him - poor Rudolph is having to depend on someone else for his self esteem. What kind of a message is that?? Kiss up to the big guy and you'll be popular!

Then we get to the meanest Christmas carol ever (thanks to Buzz for pointing this out) - "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". The horrid lyrics!!

so bring us some figgy pudding - WE WON'T GO UNTIL WE GET SOME!

Terrorism in the form of carolers!! Sheesh! How did these things get so popular?? I'm scaring myself just thinking about it.

Back to my album - "Baby Please Come Home" by Darlene Love just came on. Yeep!! It's one of the two best songs on the album!!

Buzz and I did a lot this weekend. We even ventured into the general vicinity of the Montgomeryville Mall. If you're from our area, you know how crowded that place is - in the middle of the night! But, we were nearby on a Saturday, three weekends before Christmas. Insanity! Fortunately, we survived the ordeal!

On the way home, we stopped at a place that sells produce and plants and things to take a look at their Christmas wreaths. They had a wonderful wreath all done up with ornaments and things and we had to have it. So we bought that and a little Christmas greens display thingy, all done up in a little log, for the front porch, and I picked up three bunches of greens to use to decorate all over the place.

Three bunches, I say.

We got done with the decorating and I hadn't even used up two bunches. We were heavy in excess of one whole bunch! What do you do with that kind of thing, other than toss it? There's good use of our money, huh?

Hey - did you check out my new Santa skin? Isn't is nifty???

Oh, baby - check out my new holiday skin!! I am so flipped out about this one! This was designed - with pretty much no guidance from me - by Joelle at BlogMoxie.

Does she rock or what???

And if you can't see the new skin, you can choose Santa from the drop-down skin menu or Reset to Default. (And, if that still doesn't work, you might need to clean up some cookies!)

Ho ho ho!!! Merry Christmas!!!

A few things have changed since I wrote my original 100 Things, so here's an updated version:

Well, we watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and "Christmas Vacation" tonight. Excellent, excellent Christmas shows!!

And then I started unpacking the Christmas decorations that need to be put up this weekend, come hell or high water!

Sheesh - it looks like Rudolph threw up in my dining room! There are Santas and snowmen and nutcrackers as far as the eye can see! And yet, when I start to put them out into their hallowed places, it won't be nearly enough. Our house will be "tastefully" decorated. Understated, even.

That's not what I want!! I want Christmas gaudiness! I want every square inch of my house to be draped in figgy pudding and sugar plums! But, damn, it takes a long time and a whole lot of money to collect enough doo-dads to decorate a house, doesn't it?

Maybe by the time I'm 80, I'll have enough Christmas decorations. But until then - more Santas! More reindeer! More, more, more!! Never enough!!!!!!

Some times, I just have to shake my head and wonder what sort of people are out there in the world. I guess it takes all kinds but I hope I don't ever have to meet them!

This was a hit I got today on my site:

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Who's looking for this stuff?? Sick puppies, I tell ya!

Did you ever have one of those...um, er...let's see...um, facial flaws (most people refer to them as zits or pimples) that was just starting and it hurts? And you just can't stop touching it and that only irritates it even more?

Well, I haven't. No, not me! Certainly not!

And I especially haven't had one today. Right near the side of my mouth. Ow.

OK - we're left with a gift or two for my dad, another one or two for Buzz's folks, and one for a friend. That's all that's left on our Christmas list. So we've done really well - without stepping into the mall even once!

Oh - I did forget about us. We have to get our own Christmas presents. Buzz posted about this last year. We do need to make one more very important trip to the liquor store to pick out our own presents. And prepare for that one night that is so, so special to me. It makes the rest of the stress and hustle worthwhile.

'Cause I do truly love my husband and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend all my time with.

And to go off on that little tangent - is there anyone else out there at all who could spend 24/7 with their spouse? We get so many comments from people who know us IRL that are all about how they couldn't stand to be with their significant other for as many hours as we are together. SOOOO many comments. There were 3 people who mentioned it yesterday. And we've worked at the same place together for 17 years! They're still talking about it! Frankly, I don't think we spend enough time together. If we can somehow fine-tune this to where we are spending every moment (except those discreet bathroom times) together, I think we'd be doing just fine. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. In our case, absence pisses us off! We do not do well if we are separated.

So how about it? Isn't there just one or two other sets of lovers who can't stand to be apart? Who would just love to spend every moment of every day together? Or is it just us? And I want honest answers. And some examples of people who have actually come close to spending 24/7 together so that they know for sure!

Let me describe it a little further, just so we're clear. There is no such thing to either one of us as "alone time". We don't have it, we don't crave it - all we want is "together time". There's no such thing as "guys' night out" or "girls' night out". We only want to be with each other - no one else. We don't hang out with friends unless we're together. We go to the grocery store together. We run to the post office together - even on lunch hour at work. We both head downstairs to the freezer to check out what we want to have for dinner. We both take the cats to the vet. We are usually in the same room in the house at the same time. When one of us goes out on the deck or out on the porch, there's the other one, too. When one of us needs to go to the MAC at work, we walk there together. When one of us is hungry for breakfast but the other is not, we still both go to the cafeteria. That's the scenario. 24/7. Seriously. Is there anyone else who fits this criteria? I'm beginning to doubt it. I think we're freaks.

(Cas, I already know about you guys!)

Well, that's not what this post started out being! A little "what do we have left to buy for Christmas" post turned into a rant on 24/7 couples! Sheesh! Good thing Buzz is sitting right next to me to calm me down!

Have you ever found yourself staring at a spot on the wall for a long, long time until you have convinced yourself that it moved and it must be a highly venomous insect that is viciously out to get you? You can even see the hairy little legs! You scuttlebutt to get out of there as quickly as you can - you run for your life!

And then you come back the next day and the spot's still there.

As I mentioned yesterday morning, we were supposed to be in for some major wind, which did happen. We hit gusts up to 48 mph, which is pretty windy for a non-tropical storm situation!

Yesterday was trash day.

On the way home from work, Buzz made a funny comment to be on the lookout for our trash can 'cause it could be anywhere. Well, we got home and the trash can was there, albeit, it was in front of the driveway and not where it originally started, but the recycle bin was just plain gone. Fortunately, we have another so that's not the problem.

The problem is this: there is a recycle bin across the street under the neighbor's tree. Different people on our street use different trash collectors so I don't know if that bin belongs to him or not. I never took close enough notice to see whether or not he uses the same collector as we do. We almost went over and got it but then remembered the big, loud, ferocious dogs that he owns. And then we remembered what he's like. He's big, loud, and ferocious, too!

So we left it there. If by chance we happen to see him outside on a day when he's not growling at something or other, we'll ask him about it. But for now, we are one recycle bin lighter.

Today is my eldest son's birthday! He's 23 years old today. Wow! Gettin' old there, CTE!

So happy birthday, Chris! (Since we don't see you much any more, your birthday present will be late! Heh!!)

That's a lie - I didn't really make a cake for you but I'd be happy to buy one and share it with you!

The weather reports are predicting another big round of rain for our area after we got 2 to 3 inches of rain last weekend. Then when that's over later this afternoon, a front is going to come through with sustained 30 to 35 mph winds.

Oh, perfect!

I'm not as concerned about the rain at our house (as long as the electricity stays on) because we are at the top of two hills. But I am concerned about the wind. Because we are at the top of two hills. We get hit hard!

So, if Buzz and Empress disappear for a little while, it's because we got blown down the street and we have to find somewhere to reconnect for the sake of our blogs!

Stay safe today, folks. Too many tragic accidents are happening lately and we all need to pay closer attention to the big bad world around us. Mind your head, 'k?